Epic Dares(and truths)
by Anna the Vampire Princess
Summary: A new (hilarious) show where you(the 're'viewers) can ask the characters questions, dare them, and even interact with them. Hosted by the one and only Anna the Vampire Princess.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Okay, it has been a while since I have written a story, and since I am not a very good writer, I thought I'd try my hand at humour. Note, I am supposedly a very funny person, but this is my first humor, so go easy on me.

Also, I have stopped watching the show after season 4 ended. I didn't like season 5 episode 1 so I quit watching it. So, if anyone asks questions that are about recent events in TVD, please include the character's response(s) for I will be unsure of what to say.

On another note, I refuse, flat out refuse, to ecknowledge Bonnie and Jeremy as a couple. I am Kennett and Jeranna all the way. I hope you understand.

Lastly, I am reviving nearly every character that died(Anna, Vicki, Pearl, John, Jenna, Alaric, Bonnie, Kol, Isobel, Mason, ect). So please submit questions, dares, or even random stuff to say on the show.

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**Anna The Vampire Princess: **_*walks onto stage* _Hello and welcome to-

**Crowd Member: **It's _YOU!_

**Anna The Vampire Princess: **_*throws brick*_

**Crowd Member: **_*BRICKED!*_

**Anna The Vampire Princess**: As I was saying, Hello and welcome to Epic Dares(and truths). I am your host, Anna-

**Guy: **_*screams like a girl*_

**Anna The Vampire Princess: ***_Clears throat*_ I am your host Anna. That's my name. But for future reference, I will be Vamp Princess.

**Girl: **Just get on with it!

**Vamp Princess: **Dully noted. Okay, since this is the first chapter I will actually have to use this thing called a brain! Wow, it has been so long since I've used. I'm not sure it will work.

**Random guy: **It's obvious you are an idiot.

**Vamp Princess: **That may be true, or it's my adhd, but this idiot has some serious anger issues.

**Crowd: **_*shrinks in response*_

**Vamp Princess: ** Okay, let's start by calling Stefan, Elena, and Damon to the stage. *_to audience* _This is going to be fun!

**Elena, Damon, & Stefan: **_*walk nervously on stage, except Damon, he walks on with swag*_

**Vamp Princess: **So... Umm, I need to ask you guys questions. I really never use my brain cells.

**Damon: **Wow, pathetic.

**Vamp Princess: **_*Stakes with pencil* _Don't mock me.

**Damon: **Ouch!

**Elena: **Hey!

**Vamp Princess: **_*throws potato at Elena* _Oh shut up.

**Stefan: **Why a potato?

**Elena: **That's not the question you should be asking Stefan!

**Vamp Princess: **I loooove potatos!

**Stefan: **Cool. Potatos are great!

**Damon: **Would you two idiots stop talking about POTATOS and get on with why we are here!

**Elena: **Finally someone asks that!

**Vamp Princess: **Why didn't you?

**Elena: **Ummm...

**Vamp Princess: **Oh right, you are useless and a failure.

**Damon: **Hey! That was rude.

**Vamp Princess: **_*Stakes with another pencil* _I am just being honest. Brutally so.

**Damon: **_*mumbles* _I see. And brutally abusive.

**Vamp Princess: **If you think this is bad, wait till I bring out my voodoo dolls.

**Elena: **_*gulps audibly*_

**Vamp Princess: **Okay, questions, I can do this.

**Damon: ***_snickers*_ Are you sure? We don't want you to hurt yourself.

**Vamp Princess: **Hey! I take defense to that!

**Stefan: ***_mumbles* _It's offense

**Vamp Princess: **Oh whatever. I am just offended.

**Elena: **moving on. . .

**Vamp Princess**: Right! Questions. Elena, If you were in a burning building with Stefan and Damon, and both brothers were vervained up, and you can only save one, which one would you save.

**Stefan: **Wow, that's a pretty good question.

**Vamp Princess: **Thanks, but I hate you.

**Stefan: **Why?

**Vamp Princess: **You aren't Ripper Stefan. I like him more. Now, Elena! Answer

**Elena: **Ummmm... *_shifts awkwardly*_

**VP: **Yesssss *_Hisses like snake*_

**Elena: **Well, um. . .

**Damon: **Who is it?

**Elena: **uhhhhhhh. . .

**VP: **Oh for the love of pizza, answer the GOSH DARN question!

**Elena: **I can't chose!

**VP: **Ughh, you bore me. _*zaps with electify button*_

**Elena: **Ahh! How did you do that!

**VP: **I have a button for every evil deed one can committ. Even one that revives those who have died.

**Damon: **That's impossible.

**Stefan: **And against the laws of nature.

**VP: **I never followed these so called "laws of nature" I am a more "do as I please" person. See *_Stabs Elena, Damon, and Stefan with vervain covered pencils*_

**Elena, Damon, and Stefan: **OWW!

**VP: **Yep. I'm not sure if I have any questions.

**Stefan: **Thank god!

**VP: **Don't thank God, thank me! I'm ending the show now.

**Damon: **I don't think that's what he meant-

**Vamp Princess: **I understand that this is soo stupid, but please send in dares and truths for these good for nothing people we know and love. I will also be looking for a co-host to do the show with later on.

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**A/N: **How was it? Please review. I literally cannot think of questions or dares(as you see above)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Heyo, I am back! *cheers* I had to make up most of these questions. /le gasp. Hope you enjoy. I will try to update my stories more often. Also, I started watching the show again.

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**Anna the Vampire Princess: **Hello everybody! We are back with this crazy talk show!

**Audience:** *groans*

**Anna the Vampire Princess: **Oh shush! For this intstallment, and because I'm lazy, I will go by VP!

**Random guy: **Why would you do that?

**VP**: Because that's my name, nitwit! Anyways, welcome to Epic Dares(and Truths!) I am your host Anna, and let's meet our contestants.

Elena, Damon, and Stefan: *walk onto stage*

VP: Okay, so last time I asked a question, and it didn't get answered *pout* So I've decided to make an alternative. If you don't answer the question, you have to do a dare. And it'll probably be life threatening.

Elena: *gulps*

VP: So, Elena, you can either answer the before-mentioned questioned or do a dare.

Elena: What would the dare be?

VP: You are going to be locked in a room with a newly reserrected Kol. And you have to find good reasons to justify why you had him killed.

Damon: Are you crazy? Kol will kill her! 

VP: Will. Kill. That rhymes.

Stefan: *facepalms*

VP: *shakes head* Anyways, I don't care whether she lives or dies. Just get on with it!

Elena: Fine, I'd save Damon. Because I love hime

Stefan: *sad puppy face*

Damon: *happy dance*

VP: Okay, these next questions are from Anusha-Anusha. First, Stefan: Will you ever stop loving Elena and just be friends with her?

Stefan: No. I will always love Elena no matter what.

VP: Ugh, god. Next is Damon: If you really loved Elena, then why did you bed so many people?

Damon: Easy, a guys got needs bro, a guys got needs

VP: *gagging noise* Okay. That was it for questions submitted, so I'm going to have to think of more. Crud.

*commercial break*

Commercial Voice: Are you a vampire?

Vicki(poofs in): Yes

Commercial Voice: Do you burn in the sun?

Vicki: Yes?

Commercial Voice: Do you want a daylight ring?

Vicki: Yes!

Commercial Voice: Well then you are stupid!

Vicki: What?

Commercial Voice: Why have a daylight ring when you can own SunBlock!

Vicki: Huh?

Commercial Voice: That's right, scientists have found a way to make a SunBlock that can shield vampires from the sun

Vicki: Really?

Commercial Voice: Really! Ask any one! Order 1 VampireBlock SunBlock today and get a friend booklight!

Vicki: OH BOY!

Commercial Voice: Warning, Side Affects include: Burping, sneezing, burning, itching, rashes, strange red dots, cuts, random bleeding, strange blue dots, extreme pain, the plague, sexual attractions to your sibling, odd purple rashes, swine flu, diarra, head trauma, amnesia, skin changing colour, hallucinations, that need to murder someone, and more! If any of these side affects show up, keep using the product, they should go away. If they continue, talk to your next door neighbor or plumber.

*and we are back*

VP: We are back from that long ass comercial break. I have thought up some questions! With the help of my sister!

Damon: O joy!

VP: the first question is for JEREMY! Get you butt out here JEREMY!

Jeremy: *Walks onto stage* Hello . . . Who are you?

VP: I am Anna the Vampire Princess! Gosh, was no one paying attention?

Stefan: I was.

VP: Good boy. So yeah, Anna here called VP because I am L-A-Z-Y

Jeremy: Okidoki VP, whatcha need me for?

VP: A question! 

Jeremy: Shoot

VP: okay. If Vicki and Anna were alive today, who would you chose; Vicki, Anna, or Bonnie?

Jeremy: *Gulps and pulls at collar* I really don't know.

VP: And why don't you know?

Jeremy: Well it's been a while since I've talked Vicki, I don't really remember her.

VP: So you would need them here? *poofs Vicki, Anna, and Bonnie onto the stage*

Vicki: Woah how'd we get here, A?

Anna: Not sure Vick.

Bonnie: What am I doing here? *looks and sees Vicki and Anna* What are THEY doing here?!

VP: Ah, well Jeremy has to choose between the three of you!

Bonnie: WHAT! That is outragous. Jeremy tell the-

Vicki: So then I said WHO CARES ABOUT THE 'LAW' Just DO IT! *bursts out laughing*

Anna: That was to funny. I mean seriously! *pauses* Wait, I didn't get it, could you tell it again?

Bonnie: Excuse me? I was trying to ta-

Vicki: *Ignores Bonnie* Oh sure no problem. *pauses* Hey, A, did you here something?

Anna: *Ignores Bonnie too* Just the sound of desperation. Continue.

Bonnie: HEY! I AM TALKING HERE!

Jeremy: *sits inbetween Vicki and Anna like a puppy* Then what happened?!

Bonnie: *sigh* Jeremy?

Jeremy: *Holds up hand to say gimme a minute* Really, that is awesome.

VP: This is just amusing.

Vicki: So I was all like, you CANNOT touch me there. If you gonna molest me, do it right! 

Anna and Jeremy: *burst out laughing like it is the funniest thing ever*

VP: *leans over to Bonnie* I don't like you.

Bonnie: What! WHY NOT?

VP: *nonchalantly sips mango smoothie* You killed Anna.

Bonnie: I did no such thing!

VP: Gilbert device, ring a bell

Bonnie: Wha- I- GET OVER IT that was YEARS ago!

VP: She is still DEAD!

Jeremy: Wasn't I supposed to answer a question?

Anna: You were? Cool. I love questions! What was the question? Did it have something to do with unicorns and zombies?

Jeremy: Err, no, why?

Anna: *leans over to place her mouth right by his ears and screams* I LOVE UNICORNS AND ZOMBIES!

Jeremy: AHHHH! I've gone deaf! HELP!

VP: That was funny.

Anna: I mean Zombies are so cool and they are IN. Vampires are soo last year!

Bonnie: Weren't you a vampire?

Anna: What are you saying? *narrows eyes*

Bonnie: I dont kno-

Anna: Why are you using past tense words?

Bonnie: Well you are dead.

Anna: *bursts into tears* DON'T REMIND ME!

Vicki: Oh no! *glares at Bonnie* You are mean. *runs after Anna* Wait for me!

Jeremy: *looks pointedly at Bonnie* Well that wasn't very nice. Because you were mean to the nice people, I'll say either Vicki or Anna

VP: That's a pretty good answ-

Jeremy: But after having Anna scream in my ear, I remember why I suggested therepy to her.

VP: Anyways. Thank you Jeremy. Next is for Caroline. CAROLINE!

Caroline: You called, I came

VP: Okay, What was it like to sleep with Klaus? OMFG I had the biggest fangirl attack. I DIED!

Caroline: Well, Umm... it was good?

VP: Just 'good'

Caroline: IT WAS THE BEST I'VE EVER HAD!

VP: Now that's a great answer. The next questions are for the awesomest person alive(well not really alive)

Damon: Me?

VP: NO! KATHERINE!

Katherine: *holding skittles* Geeze what's with the screaming, VP? 

VP: Its just, I'm a HUGE fan!

Katherine: Who isn't *eats a few skittles*

Klaus: *swoops in and steals Katherine's skittles then disappears*

Katherine: Hey!

VP: Okay, Katherine, How do you feel about being Elenas great great whatever grandmother? Shouldn't you care for her?

Katherine: Eh, not really. I kinda hate her and all. Plus, she is way to stupid and uncool to be directly related to me. She obviously a distant, a very very distant relative

Elena: HEY!

VP: Nice! Okay, next How did you feel when you found out Nadia was your Daughter?

Katherine: Honestly, I was excited. When I gave birth, it was the best thing to ever happen to me. Losing her was the worst. Having her jump into my life was amazing and an adventure. And even though she could be slightly abusive, she was everything I hoped.

Nadia: (in crowd) *wipes tear*

VP: That is beautiful. How did you feel when she died?

Katherine: Very upset. I had grown to love her, and this was like having her ripped from my arms all over again.

VP: That's horrible. I feel for you. *pats back*

Katherine: *nods and walks off*

VP: Okay, next question is for Elena!

Elena: Oh boy! I am so *sarcasm* excited

VP: Do you ever regret choosing Damon?

Elena: NO! Why would I do that? I love him. I chose him and I stand by my choice

Stefan: *starts crying*

VP: And we are about to end. Aww! But let's finish with a dare. Katherine, you are to give Elena a nice big hug!

Katherine: Eww, no

VP: Do it! 

Katherine: Fine! *hugs Elena like a teddy bear*

Elena: /Le gasp! Help! She molesting me

Katherine: *drops her* Eww, perv!

VP: And that's all for today. Please send in some truths and dares for these characters, and watch out for my new fanfics(Vampire Diaries: Truth or Dare, and an all new Kennett and Jeranna fic) coming soon-ish. BYE!

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End file.
